Buhtt sex?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
