So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
