Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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