so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
