my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
