Where did you get a picture of my penis
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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