I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
