This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
