My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
