he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
