Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
