i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
