I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize