I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
