I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize