tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
