Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
