ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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