someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
