Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
