I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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