Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
