my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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