are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
