Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
