this beer tastes like vomit already
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
