I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
