You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize