I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
