Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i barfeds in our rink
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
