i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
