It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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