You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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