??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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