I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
