Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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