God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
