Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
