Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
