Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
