I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
