Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
