so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
