you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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