Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize