I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
