apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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