Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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