i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
