You work out of a Hotel?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
