This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
