is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
