I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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