Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
