Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
