How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
