We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
operation harelip BJ is a go
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
