He uses pillows to masturbate.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Boobs speak an international language.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
