this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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