Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
