yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize