ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
