Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
